Sex-Life Guides
A 'how to' guide for men who want to rely on erections
with confidence
The Facts about Achieving and Maintaining Erections
© Dr Janet Hall
You are not alone.
10% of men experience problems achieving or maintaining an erection.
Causes
Erection problems can have either medical or psychological causes
(or both!)
Medical or Psychological
If you can obtain an erection at any other time, for example,
on awakening in the morning or during masturbation, then the problem is
probably psychological.
There are Three Common Difficulties to Achieving and Maintaining Erections
• Avoiding sex 'just in case' your penis will not perform
• Feeling embarrassed, angry, inadequate and frustrated
• Trying to force yourself to 'get it up'
Common Obstacles to Achieving and Maintaining Erections
The following list includes the most common obstacles to achieving and
maintaining erections:
1. Anxious about your relationship
2. Shame about not performing
3. Fears about being too old to have enjoyable sex
4. Not feeling like a 'real' man
5. Your partner is critical and fed up
6. Wanting it to just go away and procrastinating
7. No time/too busy to do anything about it
8. Fear of injections
9. Embarrassment about and reluctance to masturbate
10. Stress/illness/unhealthy lifestyle
Your Step-by-Step Program to Achieving and Maintaining Erections
Communication
• Communicate with your partner about sex
No Avoidance
• Don't avoid sex
Alternative
• Have sex without penetration
• Explore each other's bodies and have fun
Lifestyle
• Adopt a healthy lifestyle
• Reduce alcohol and increased exercise
Technique
• Learn the 'stop/start' technique
Read a self-help book
• Real men do read! Don't leave it up to your partner
Relax
• Learn to relax
• Deep breathe
• Use positive self-talk and focus on feeling good
Co-operation
• Ask your partner's assistance in getting you aroused and keeping
you aroused
• For example, let her know that men are typically visual - perhaps
she can 'dress up' to arouse your interest
Case Studies
How Some Men Learned to Achieve and Maintain Erections
Kim, 30, was shy with women. He liked women and being with them, but he
couldn't commit to anything serious. He didn't like the 'macho-man'
routine that he believed some women expected. His erection problems began
after a relationship break-up. He was having sex casually when he could,
and had failed to achieve erections a few times. With three-weeks counselling
Kim learnt to set conditions for sex, always achieve an erection and commit
to a relationship.
Harold, 55 had begun experiencing trouble getting and keeping an erection
during sex. He thought it was just because he was getting older. He was
a successful performer at work. It was hard to admit that at home he was
trying to cope with not being able to do what 'came naturally to a man'.
He had tried injections but hoped there was another way. Harold realised
that he was trying too hard to perform, both at work and home and that
he needn't put so much pressure on himself. A few failures had ruined
his confidence and he needed a gradual program to feel and be potent again.
Harold went to counselling and learned a technique called 'sensate
focus' and how to expand his sexual repertoire and expectations.
After three weeks Harold's erections returned better than ever!