I’d like to talk to you now about men who have anxiety about sex – particularly in regard to whether or not they’ll have an erection that they can get easily, and maintain and last with, then maybe have an ejaculation at a time that they feel is appropriate.
Its very serious for some men when their erections don’t work.
For instance, there was Don, he was 21, and had actually become suicidal because he couldn’t get an erection. He’d only ever tried once, with his girlfriend when he was 17. He lost his erection and she said ‘Whats wrong with you, are you a dud?’.
So Don actually developed a phobia about sex. So he really needed the solution, that was, to come and see a sex therapist that you trust and learn technicuqnes and strategies for changing your negative thoughts and maintaining an erection right throughout sex.
You see, the trouble with becoming anxious is that the anxiety can actually lead to avoidance, and like Don, the avoidance and lead to a full blown phobia: Where you ‘just don’t want to go there’ and you just don’t want to try it. That’s why you should consider therapy.
But of course, first things first: and make sure you’ve been checked out by a doctor, and make sure that there isn’t a physiological component to it, because in 80% of cases, particularly in older men, they may have a physiological problem. You need to rule those out – and we’ll talk about that in the next clip.