I’d like to talk about men and erections, and encourage you to seek medical assessment first because 80% of erectile dysfunction can be due to physiological problems.
So when would you need to see a GP? If you never get a morning erection at all, if you cant get an erection with masturbation, or if you’re partner is complaining heavily that you’re avoiding sex, or just not able to satisfy them. And also if you are finding that your problem is getting worse rather than better.
Physiologically you really should take care of yourself if you want to have good erections. In fact I say that young men who start smoking should be scared off – on the packet it should say ‘Warning – smoking causes impotence’.
Of course, only drink in moderation. Eat a low low cholesterol diet. And handle your stress. All of these factors could be causing your problems with erections.
As a psychologist, I mostly work with guys who have psychological distress about their erections. That sometimes can come from having a physical reason originally.
For instance there was this one chap who came to see me and he had a prostate problem. James was a successful dentist, and he worked too much, 6 days a week. He’d had a prostate operation and seemed to recover well except that he couldn’t get his erections back. Then he started to avoid sex altogether. Well his wife had already started to threaten to leave him, and said ‘we’d better better go see a sex therapist’.
James was funny, he said ‘why doesn’t this woman just leave me alone’. You may have read that book ‘Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus’ – ‘doesn’t she know that men go into their cave and hide when they cant solve their problem?’
But then he admitted the truth – he said ‘this is really depressing me. I feel like I’m only half a man’. So James had to learn to handle his self talk and change his negative thnking, and his stress- stop working so much.
He learned to relax, and manage his psychological distress. For his physical problem, he used the injections that his doctor prescribed him. They helped him get a good erection, then he was able to perform with Marie with success and both of them went to sleep with a happy smile on their face.